This blog is to my family members, and I place it here as it’s one of the few places to find me anymore. Otherwise, I’m off the internet.
To my loved ones, I have retreated a great deal. I have smiled little, said little, appeared little except on this blog. I’ve closed online accounts, and ceased speaking to many (Not permanently I hope).
I’ve been severely wounded by news medically, and it’s been a salted nail driven in deeply, that is hard to heal from. But I am trying to wash the stinging salt out, but it isn’t pain-free.
Do not worry, please don’t berate me. Don’t belittle me, don’t think ill of me. I’m turning to a hermitage, to heal myself. I don’t want to say anything harsh or words I would regret, or plant permanent feelings of ill will where there shouldn’t be any. I’m separating myself because, a bear can be savage when wounded. I know this.
I know you read this, my family members.
I love you, and I will speak to you when everything is calmed, and patched. I still can’t say the news easily if at all right now, and I will heal – it’ll just take time. I have gained much wisdom from this, but until it’s digested it’s still raw. I need to focus on things to aid the speed of recovery.
Though the wound is not gone, the pain is dulling. I’m finding it easier to achieve a level of happiness in spite of it. Call me stubborn. Slow progress is better than none at all.
I have disappeared, but I’m not gone. I just need time to lick my wounds.