Oh, the winds do blow –

It was a fantastic moment. Outside, the heat forming beads on my brow in the slow but steady heat. The gentle breeze drifts by, the birds, insects, and even trees are quiet. A nice, sage-brush smell permeates the air.

Then the sky goes dark. The wind suddenly howls as if the Avian One opened the gates and let the Wild Ones loose; the trees bending, sand and dust flies in the air and stings your face with the speed it was thrown by the winds.

The trees sway and bend, the sound of cracking branches is muffled by the howl that encircles my workplace.

I took the moment to ask, simply – for an omen from the Bird God. There has been so much talk about ‘totems,’ lately, and I’ve been thinking. I may be a black bear sure, but I’m actually unhappy with what cards I’ve been dealt. I love birds. I adore my Bird God. I love the kinship I have with Him. I will not use the word ‘totems,’ for my own practice. I don’t view it that way, nor work with the spirits I know that way. My family line of Zimmerman has the Bee on it’s heraldry. I can’t even begin to count how many bears, but specifically wolves I’ve met in the past years. Scores. Romanticizing the animal isn’t helping anyone. In reality, the praying mantis is more poetic. That’s pretty much all I have to say on the topic. I insert my response to the blog (Shadows of the Sun):

“I agree there – my family’s ‘totem,’ if you want to use a Native American word – is the Bee. Nothing special there.

I am not familiar with some of the terminology there- but the animal I end up being is the black bear. I’m still struggling with it, and I too have been to combat, with enough
‘life’ added in that I’m still digesting all of it. It isn’t glamorous, at all. I can’t tell you how many ‘bears,’ I’ve met in the last five years. At least 80. Working to know who and what you are isn’t easy, fast, or what you expect. Am I a bad-ass Grizzly? Nope, I’m more liable to raid your cooler. Whew, takes my breath away. I think in part is the romanticizing of the animal – I’ve had dozens of bear encounters, and they are NOT what the new-age books write about. Same thing with the fox, raccoon, coyote, and yes, I think there is a griffin or two.

It has taken the meaning out of it for me at times, and keeps me questioning it. I’ve had this same issue with Pagans for so long I quit talking about it. I think maybe they want that ‘special,’ uh, I guess ‘special thing,’ to them – but the reality is vastly different. I’d rather be grouse. There, I said it.

Therein lies the rub – I did impose my own ‘totem,’ on myself – I love corvids, more specifically the crow. I have since I was young. I love their sounds, their flights, their folklore, their habits with people – all of it. I always will. There are parts of the crow I would LOVE to see in myself. I just would. I don’t work with any though I’d love to, though I’ve accepted that chances are good I never will. I can still admire them though, for their beauty, ingenuity, and intelligence.

No, I work with the wasp and mink. Ant to a good extent, turtle, and coyote only as a link to one of my Gods. Do I admit it to other Pagans? In the rare instances I meet one. I’m the only one out here for miles, and the closest one is, yes: A Dragon. Married to a Unicorn. No, I shit you not.

Thank you for posting this, I will chew on this for the rest of the evening.”

*** I left out spider. I’m sorry Spider, it was unintentional. And a final note, being a bear and working with the Bear Mother is not in any way better, or what you would think in any romantic sense whatsoever. Bears don’t typically get along well, and being the smaller bear I usually don’t win the argument. Think about that.

I understand now, why I viewed my Bird God as a raven. I love, absolutely love, corvids. I was trying to impose something that wasn’t there – and the deity to human meat-brain can’t do that. It won’t work. Small wonder I kept getting confused and off track. So, a Goose God is, well, different. It’s what He is. I just need to stop whining internally.

I got my omens. I asked for one, but now I don’t fight anything with Him, I got to be face to face with two wild female turkeys, and a barn-swallow skull fell onto my hat as I walked back inside. Just a gentle ‘plup,’ onto the soft of my cap. I will finish cleaning the skull, and I was shocked by the gentleness inherit within it. I am not sure what to make of the omens yet, I will divine after posting this.

So, with the winds still howling, I accept what I am. It isn’t as ‘cool,’ as many would like to think of it – but it is what it is. I allowed the twelve winds to take that away, and with the sandblasting I got I noticed something different.

The air is colder, stiffer, and ‘marching.’ Change, is in the air.

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Categories: Uncategorized | 13 Comments

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13 thoughts on “Oh, the winds do blow –

  1. My power animal (at least the first one) is nothing like a roaring tiger, in fact when I tell people they laugh: it’s a mouse!
    Fine with me, I’ve always loved rodents.
    The mouse has the ability to be around, see, hear without people noticing. My husband sometimes says he can’t feel my presence and I’ve had teachers in school not seeing me even though I was there amongst the students.
    Mice are survivors, they can make due with what they’ve got and they don’t need much. So I’m glad to be a mouse ;).

    • Plus, they’re adorable!

      • The reason I questioned for these past years is because.. well – a BEAR? Really? How many others are there? I think it’s the severe jading I’ve received with the Pagan community, after 80+ bears, 100+ wolves, 50+ foxes, etc., it just becomes unbelievable.

      • Any living/extinct/imaginary animal can become a power/totem animal. Some stay, some go, some are just passing, some show up later on your path, some come to teach you a thing or two, some come to warn you…
        I just dreamt of an opossum a couple days ago. Don’t really know why so I am doing some research as to the meaning of opossum medicine and how it applies to the current events in my life.
        This little fellow has even inspired the beginning of a short story I might include in my book…

  2. Of course there are those you meet in real life, those you meet in dreams and those you meet in journeys/spirit work…

    • And there are those animals that are a primal part of you, despite how disappointed you could very well be in what makes you what you are on the deepest level.

      • Or instead of disappointed, damned surprised, and unexpected too.

      • Lupa touches the topic of people who feel/believe they have an animal soul inside. I haven’t had the chance to read her books yet.
        I don’t think you should be disappointed about the nature of the animal inside. If it is here, this is who you are.
        Do you get to pick your genes, choose your body or your soul?
        We are who/what we are, the sooner you accept it, the better it is and the sooner you can move on and keep going spiritually.

      • Indeed. I quit fighting it. I can admire birds from afar, and I am thankful I got picked by the Avian One. Kin yes, and I should stop complaining. I’ve been much more at ‘center,’ since I quit the belly-aching. Hope that makes sense.

        It isn’t the animal soul inside, as I understand it – but a part of us that is animal. Maybe it’s the same thing, just semantics. Could be, perhaps I should look into her books.

      • The way I see it the bird (air) balances the bear (earth).
        It’s better to accept things the way they are, then everything flows…

      • I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Thank you for that!

      • You’re welcome ;).

      • If you’re ever on Yahoo messenger look me up (bottledhammer), I’d love to chat with you sometime.

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