Which I actually feel giddy over – that tickle in your gut that tells you that change is very much in the air. I sense something else – good change. It’s about DAMNED TIME!
I have spent the day pondering Dver’s post – and I stood in a moment to myself – and just, looked, at the world around me. Granted, that world consisted of my fellow co-workers humming around; but I did take a look. It felt like being inside a 3-D television show, all the happenings and goings on, around me oblivious to what’s next to them. Tunnel vision? I don’t know, in reality. It was eerie regardless, being surrounded by familiarity and known people though. Sure, this happens to me quite often but the strangeness hasn’t left yet. Hypnotizing? Subdued mindset? De-sensitization? I wish I knew – knowing the name of the nameless does sometimes make it less strange. Sometimes.
I am also preparing for the new moon, in which I will be delving into the spirit work heavily with my Bird God, to learn what I can. Already I do feel that as far as being ‘picked, chosen, etc.,’ I think it’s more akin to getting picked for the job, not necessarily for the deity. Sure, it was their choosing for whatever reason, but while I may always now be Arta’s child, I am also kin to my other Gods. I think it’s more occupational, in my case.
I work so heavily with spirits I don’t think that thinking of my practice that way would work – though my life is heavily guided (or directed mostly) by my Gods, I don’t think I get any more special attention from them than say – some other person who is picked by the same Gods, or two, three, or one of Them. Granted, I’d LOVE to meet one of them, because seeing things from their side can be very enlightening indeed!
As the seasons change, I am working on my ‘connection,’ to Them that be as it has been getting heavier and heavier with the more astute turnings to the Autumn season. I am feeling even my feet want to venture to the fields to find wild foods and herbs, and to my altar room to do work (despite how sore they are from industrial work!). The more I just ‘shut up and listen,’ the more I glean. I know, this is old hat to many – but to me it hasn’t yet ceased to astound me.
So, while the Autumn axle is turning, I do wonder as I remember myself in their state – I don’t clearly remember when I ‘woke up,’ but I did. I actually stopped three of them as they hurried past me, and asked about the immediate surroundings. I got confusion, and aggravation. What’s the difference between them and me?
I will think about this over a bowl of dark cavendish, and a chilled glass of rum.