This is a topic that can make my blood boil.
Basically, I get the sneer from some when mentioned, a sad pitiful look from others – and other times I get pure snobbery. Just because you gave birth, does not make one any more of a ‘Mother,’ than one who did not, or in some cases – just fucking can’t.
It’s self-righteous, hypocritical, and arrogant bigotry.
I’ve met many Pagan parents that tell me that a ‘true,’ bond is done at birth and with pregnancy. So all those adopted children who are sensed, heard at a far distance when they were scared at summer camp, and have a deep bond with their adopted parents – that bond isn’t… Real? It isn’t the same? How do you know? What right do you have to tell me or any parent what their bond is, or isn’t?
In many cases that I’ve physically seen – the adopted families have had an equal, and in some cases stronger bond than ‘genetically related,’ families. I’ve seen adopted children change their physical appearance to mirror their adopted parents – from brown eyes to blue for instance. Or brown hair to blonde. It does happen, and no science can’t explain that phenomena.
Please refrain from telling me about your ‘link,’ to you kid when I have one with my own (if I get to be blessed with them) is not the same because my child is adopted while you ‘birthed,’ yours. Just, don’t.
Look, a Mother is not just one who births kids. There is more to the role of ‘Mother,’ than just making babies. Seriously.
This ties into another part – inter-racial families. So, if I adopt a black baby, raise him with my Gods, he speaks German and French, and worships my Gods and speaks to them as readily as I do… He’s not ‘allowed,’ to worship Arta? Thor? Or Herne?
Even if I get blessed with carrying and birthing my own children, don’t think for an instant I will forget how much it hurts, how insulting, or how angry I felt as I feel when parents gloat about their birthed children. It’s fucked up, and it makes you look like a pure dick. Grow up a little, and then maybe you can grow a little.
Because, a family is a family, is a family. All different types, sizes, and relations. The bond is the glue that holds the family together, and gives the love a deeper meaning. Please stop the bigotry.