I am many things. I have a long list of hobbies, and three main passions: my husband, metalworking, and brewing.
I am a bear-woman, which has many connotations within it, and it’s different for everyone. Suffice to say I’m rough around the edges, blunt, sometimes crude or rude (depending on your perspective), tough, and cynical. No, these do not necessarily make a woman a ‘bear-woman,’ but it’s difficult to describe myself from the inside out.
I worship a Goddess named Arta, a Bear Goddess whom gave me that name to call her by. I have tried in vain for at least ‘Andarta,’ which the ‘And,’ is an argumentative – but no. She’d have none of it. Artio? She chuckled and tossed the ‘Gallo-Roman name’ (as she called it) aside.
Arta – she tells me – ARTA…. A.R.T.A. However, I heard a name in my sleep for some time I’m nervous to bring out.. Sounds like “Artiyonn,” or something like that.. We’ll have to see how that pans out..
It’s calling her ‘she-bear.’ I think the title is a bit belittling for such a mighty Goddess, but that’s what I am told to call her. For those who know her, this IS the end of the conversation.
I don’t think she’s for everyone – for some, she’s a warrior (she was for me during the Army), for others a skilled craftswoman (as I work with her now), others a healer (again, I looked to her for this as well during the military), and still others… The list can go on. She is not a deity for those who need gentleness, easy answers, catering, or a loving Mommy-Goddess. Arta loves her own dearly – but she is a Primal deity, always remember that.
She will shout, growl, throw you across the room if you are defiant without due reason (and have you prove your point if there IS reason), she will dump you in a horrific situation to teach you, and will toughen you to the point where you will see there is little to truly fear in our world. She’s tough, make no mistake about that! She healed my wounds, tended me when I was ill, calmed me when my emotions could not be contained by myself, and now she instructs me in metal and mineral – she’s not all terrible. But her cubs are tough and rugged for a reason. Think about that.
I get bothered by the skins and flint tools some use – Artio and Andarta were part of established tribes and tribal villages for just two examples- so culture was a definite part of their persona. It just seems like we’re missing (or skipping) part of the whole picture. Just a thought: How the hell did our Ancestors meet these Gods? GNOSIS. They didn’t dig up archeological sites like we do in all probability, nor in the fashion we do. So, if Arta is the ‘older’ form, and different tribes called her different names – she evolved with her beloved. Why can’t she continue to do this today?
I also worship a Bird God of Culture, and a Reindeer Goddess of Fate. More on those later on (we’re still working out the details and trying to keep the ‘channels’ open between us..).
I am a spirit worker, I journey to the Otherworlds and primarily to the Underworld. No, I won’t call myself a shaman, witch, priestess, etc. – because:
1.) I haven’t earned a title. I’m too young still, and haven’t had enough experience in life yet. Maybe in 20 more years…
2.) I do not have a tribe, community, or hell a GROUP that needs me in that role.
3.) I am learning the traditions from Arta herself, as well as the Bird God and Antlered Goddess. I consider myself very modern, and.. I’m still learning and will probably be doing so for some time to come.
4.) Trance-states and ecstasy does NOT a witch, shaman, or any other title make… It’s the painful initiation, the wisdom, and the interaction with the spirits manifesting in this world as well as the other worlds – and… Much more. Yet again – that’s just my opinion.
I am not a sun-worshiper nor moon-worshiper, as I see both as hands to a cosmic clock of sorts – and not actual deities. (These are my own beliefs.) They keep the world going in a sequential order.
Did I mention – I am an encouragable smart-ass?
Just mentioning. Also, my brain is a random heap of.. Randomness. Too much journeying to the Otherworlds can have this side-effect.
I try to be an open-minded, genuinely invested person in our world. But, with all the morons, idiots, and assholes it makes it rather a challenge not to run them over with my SUV. That doesn’t change the fact that I still do try. I am a passionate person, and cautious as I charge in head-long if that makes any sense to anyone. I do not deal with arrogance, ignorance, or fundamentalists very well. If a box is what you want – then have at it. I live in a world with no walls.
And if you’re cringing over my grammar – I’m a metalworker by passion, welder and fabricator by trade, and brewer by night. English grammar isn’t a strong point and I apologize in advance.
My other passion is brewing. I brew mostly wines, meads, and if I can get the damn must to work properly some cider. I learned it from my father, and it goes back from there. I firmly believe no holiday is complete without a bon-fire and a keg!
Last but most certainly not least – my hubs. He’s a tall, hairy man that’s as rough around the edges and cynical as I am. He’s a handsome one… He’s one puppy-dog eye glance away from whatever he wants most of the time.
Other than that – I think this blog is ended for now. Tune in next time for more randomness, and evolution – or just plain ranting. Either or…